New Year (Parenting) Resolutions

It’s New Year’s Eve, we are contemplating the year ahead, and broach the inevitable topic of…resolutions. I love a new year and the opportunity to embrace a fresh start. I know it is simply the beginning of a new day and a new month, but the motivation it evokes in me is borderline exhilarating!

We cover the usual ground of healthier lifestyle choices and prudent financing, but then we reflect on our parenting. We (like all) have our faults and bad parenting habits. My personal pitfall; being hyper-critical. Sometimes it feels like a compulsion, but I just can’t let some (most) things lie. I correct every “I done” with “I did”, every talking with food in their mouths with “stop eating like an animal” and every spelling/handwriting mistake with a rewrite. I know, a fascist some may say.

Being hyper-critical can be great in delivering results. But what I need to remember, is the impact it has on my children (and probably my poor husband). Yes - they are fantastic and respond really well to constantly being corrected and yes, they do have better table manners and handwriting than many other children. But, I need to walk a day in my kids’ shoes and remember how my critical reminders land. Do they feel like I am always being negative? Am I expecting too much from them? Maybe and maybe.

Before anyone thinks that I am emotionally terrorising my kids, they get oodles of praise for all the good stuff and heaps of affection and “love you” everyday. But I accept, I need more patience and more perspective when steering my kids in the right direction. There is nothing wrong with being hard on your kids sometimes. It builds their resilience and they learn to deal with criticism which they will inevitably face in their teenage years and into adulthood. But I think it boils down to something quite simple. Don’t lower your expectations, just raise your patience threshold.